Social media life, searching for fun with the cost of our mental health…?
A comparison of life that starts from having fun through nature then switches to watching tv-shows and changed to social media, a.k.a virtual life.
From having fun through nature then switches to watching tv-shows.
I remember when my family moved from countryside to city life when I was eight. Kids in the city grow with different ways of having fun compared to the kids who grow in the countryside. At least, that is what I experienced. Being an observer since I have my memories, I unconsciously loved observing people and things around which caught my interest.
An earlier day when I tried to make new friends after we moved to the city, there’s our new neighbor with three daughters, one the same age as me, which remains as my dear friend although we don’t contact each other regularly and another two which is her older sisters with only one and three years old apart. I remember there’s a time when I visit their home, the older sister laughed at me for her success in tricking me and making fun of me. My dear friend had to apologize for her sister’s behavior right after that. I have no clue why would they laugh after tricking someone, after tricking me when it’s only made me feel uncomfortable.
“What is it? What are they doing…?” I wonder.
When I got into my new class, I saw girls talking to each other, giggling, and most of the time, I learned that they are competing with each other. Comparing whose appearance is more beautiful… who is rich and who is poor… (kid’s from rich families won’t play with kids from poor families). It was so different from my day back in the countryside.
In countryside, we are all the same. No caste difference based on family wealth. All the kids live nearby mostly playing outdoors together, girls or boys running here and there playing hide and seek, making toys from the soil dough or plants, playing games using some wild grass… climbing trees… checking some traps made by people if any birds being caught, catch some dragonfly and tie a rope to their tail and let them fly as if it was kite… (my deeply apologize to these dragonflies), gather some caterpillar… walking on the field using banana leaf as our umbrella when there’s rain… running from rooster for avoiding being kicked by them… etcetera.
All of the days spent in the countryside life required our physical activities while having fun with all the things provided by nature.
After moving to the city, in this new environment, I couldn’t bring myself to join those city kids, especially the girls. I don’t enjoy the way they have fun. I had three older brothers at that time so, since they are the only ones I could trust, I choose to participate with them and their friends. I admired the boys for how they got along with each other and not making fun of each other until one day, one of my brothers told me to not join them because I’m a girl. A girl is supposed to play with girls. That’s the culture and society rules.
Well, since then, I stop joining them. I don’t join the girls either. There’s no fun anyway (in my opinion). These situations and conditions are what make me turn to television to find my own fun while our parents don’t care that much as long as we are not causing any scenes and make sure we took care of our responsibilities such as school, homework, taking our meals three times daily, etcetera. That’s how we were raised.
Thus, hardly joining other teenagers, I have a lot of me-time which I spent watching lots of tv-shows including some entertainment shows, excluding tv-shows from my own country since they are full of stupidity in my opinion (sending too many uncomfortable feelings just like those cocky kids in the city). I also read comics. Some are sad and some are funny I could laugh out loud like crazy.
Just like teenagers nowadays whose able to keep awake for their mobile phone and mobile games at midnight for their fun, I was the same at my teen but with different addiction which is comic books and entertainment show or dramas from tv-shows. All shows in alien languages that I don’t understand which eventually… become my second or maybe, my first language after I watch them every single day for years.
Watching tv-shows, we can not be a part of the show while we still can have our commentaries behind the show. The best part of a movie or drama show is they have an ending which from those ending, we unconsciously take some notes and conclusions then, lessons learned from watching them.
What about social media?
Social media come next after I stopped watching tv-shows the moment I get out of my parent’s house by living outside. I was sixteen when I choose to start my real social life in the capital city. The reason I stop watching tv shows was because there’s no tv-channels from another country that I used to watch at the time. I never enjoy tv-shows from my own country. Since then, I slowly changed my interest from tv-shows to the internet world. Back in the previous city, the internet wasn’t something popular. I didn’t even get the chance to attend the computer class that I wanted since there’s no teacher for the subject when I enter my Senior High School.
Starting from IRC, MSN, Yahoo, Skype, Friendster, Facebook, so on which mostly I ditched for years now.
Social media wasn’t that much different from watching tv shows in my opinion. The advantage of social media is that they add another fun which is we can be part of the show that most of us are actively doing! And the major difference is there’s no ending for social media so there’s no conclusion as what tv-shows did. Without ending nor conclusion, it only let us try to look for more and more. Social media becomes a part of our personal life! there’s no end nor closing so of course, there’s no conclusion too as long as we are still alive and using them!
What makes social media addicting compared to tv-shows is, we can actively be part of the show! Always more, more, and more! We crave for more, more, and more without us knowing since we are so deluded with our ignorance! We keep running in these endless circles without knowing how to stop! Don’t you think it’s the same circle of the samsara…?
‘’As if drinking seawater, the more we drink the thirstier we become.’’
Social media gave us the chance to show our existence. ‘Hey! Here’s my thought, here I am! look at me!’ deep down we screamed. It gives us the chance of being noticed! And there’s… our egos filled… little by little.
We, at some deep-down level, crave attention.
We crave being noticed for our existence.
We wanted to be noticed.
Watching tv-shows and actively being a part of social media did not require us to show physically which means there are no physical threats feelings. We are physically safe since we only face those with mental and emotional parts, hence, there’s a possibility, and indeed, an increasing of mental health in our society nowadays with increasing of social media use.
Watching tv shows and actively participating in social media is the same, it’s all done behind the scene. Some might be trying to look for an answer to their question in life or other needs through tv-shows and social media not knowing it only creates more knots if not used wisely.
With all the technology and condition… an abundance of tv-shows, social media, virtual games, even virtual land, pandemics that require us to keep our physical distance…, humans start to abandon their physical social life and connection with natures, slowly. Another development from these technologies is trying to look for connections through dating apps while forgetting that we, humans, besides emotional and intellectual connection, also need that physical connection too if they wish to feel close and know the other person better.
Is it a good thing? or is it a bad thing? for human evolution to get used and spend most of their time connecting with others through social media or virtual world and slowly forget how to build connections through physical, face-to-face interaction and enjoy their life by having fun through all the things provided by natures…?
