Romantic love, are you ready for the consequence?
Too old to find love? Not really.
Love is a choice. And it will always be.
When someone feels they are too old to find love, especially in romantic love, there are two main possibilities,
1. They afraid of judgment
The possibility of being judged with their look, wrinkle skin, no more physical beauty, whether judged by the society or judged by the potential one they might have feelings for. They have to consider the norm approved by the majority, the norm approved by the potential one, else, they’ll have to face the possibility of being judged from each direction. Some might judge those over 40 for being too picky or having some unappealing traits which caused them to be leftover. Some might judge those divorced people as possibly not having good characters or maybe because they are not loyal. Lots of judgment in each different culture in a different country, with different beliefs. If one doesn’t strong enough to face the possibility of being rejected, it’s better to play safe, to keep their heart from the possible pain.
Physical is something everyone can see through human bare eyes and everyone will judge the physical they saw with their own understanding which is influenced by society along with their own perspective.
What can’t be seen through human bare eyes is the 'emotions' and the ‘mind’ one has which shows one’s wisdom. How they act when faced with certain circumstances. How they treat each other, towards other human beings, towards other living beings, towards their own self. There are some younger people who have more wisdom than those who live longer but never learn. Hence, there’s a phrase said ‘age just a number’ so, never too old to find love. Do you have the courage to give it a go or not…?, is the question.
2. They are afraid of the feeling of losing someone, again.
Who’s never experienced losing someone in their life? The story of Kisa Gotami explains this clearly. When she lost her husband and kids on the same day and seek Buddha for help, Buddha told her that he could help only if she can find a mustard seed obtained from a family in which no one had died.
In a romantic relationship, couples will eventually grow attached to each other along the way. The longer they stay together, the more they are attached to their partner, and the more they had a hard time to let them go later on. Either by death or being left for another reason. Everyone who’s been in love and have separated from the one they love, will experience this event and have to learn how to let go. And damn, it’s hard for those who’s love deeply. And it takes a very long time for someone to heal from that grieve of loss. By the time they healed, the next question is, did she/he ready to plunge into the possibility of the same experience again…? Not the love itself, but the pain and hurtful feelings of being left behind when the one they love, once again, is gone.
Most of us subconsciously look for a safe place where we can rely, sometimes physically, sometimes mentally, on this journey. And this is the cause where all the attachments starts growing up, subtly.
Those who learned that parting is a universal truth, able to acknowledge it, not only in theory but eventually living in it, will be able and ready to experience another romantic relationship again.
Love is a choice. One chooses to stay and keep loving the one they choose, with their good and bad. Strong couples in romantic love relationships are going to stay and work together so they can grow up together while those who still learning might hop from one to another, hoping and searching for the new one who could give them the new spark of feelings, the same vibration, and eventually decide to settle and trying to grow together with the new partner they choose. Everyone is learning, it’s understandable.
Knowing another universal truth, the like attracts like give us an understanding of why those who hold similar views regards this life, who have similar goals, will stay together longer while those who hold different views regards this life might stay for a while and eventually drive apart when they found another who’s more alike. People changes. When they changed their views towards life or their goals based on their experiences along the way and find their current partner doesn’t stay on the same wavelength anymore, they look for a new one. They might still care and love their partner, but the love that remained was only a love for a friend, or a love for a family. No more romance for intimate relationship. The attachment wane.
Sending much universal love to everyone who’s still searching and to those who have someone they love beside them, also to those who still growing ♡.
