Alone? Lonely?
How about learning to be open without prejudice and judgment to form a connection?
Can we connect with someone if we don’t open up while judging the other person for being not understanding us…? Will you be able to feel close with someone if that person doesn’t want to share what are they thinking about or what’s bother them…?
No, you can’t in the long run.
At first, one might try and waited thinking maybe they will be opened up when the time is right (if one is interested or cares about this person enough for them to wait). Some can work out and they opened up when the time is right but some never learn or are stuck not knowing how to open up or simply because they don’t feel like to open up themselves because they thought no one will understand them while still healing from past events or too afraid to put their selves being hurt from rejection or betrayal, again.
What if there’s no term of ‘rejection’ or ‘betrayal’…? Can we dump those negative terms from our heads and change them into “It’s real that people change, people learn and grew along the way based on their intuition, beliefs, and influenced by the environment surrounding them”…? each of us.
By knowing the reality and learning to accept it, one also learns to practice understanding. Being understand, one progresses to learn the way of letting go, if needed, letting go with forgiveness. That’s if one decides to choose the path for a better day. Be peace with their selves, be peace with the one they once trust, and also be peace with their surrounding.
Complaining, most often than not, only lead to the feeling of being rejected and bitterness.
Men and women, complaining to each other. They complain about this and that as the causes of they ended up being alone which forced them to walk the tough path on their own and eventually start to experience the feeling of loneliness.
Do we complain someone for being not enough? Not enough effort, not enough respect, not enough financially, not enough attention, not enough contribution, not enough love, not tall enough, not kind enough, not empathetic enough, not enough of bla bla bla bla bla… (don’t mention being applied in daily life, only reading all of this ‘not enough’ had the effect of making one cringe).
Did men and women ever think that perhaps, they were the ones who causes their self end up being alone? Did we ever think that perhaps, we need a little bit more understanding to make the other party feel being understood and connected rather than blaming and complaining which only makes people cringe, feel rejected, and eventually lead to bitterness?
No closeness formed from blaming and complaining. Blaming and complaining only create a feeling of ‘rejection’ to the other party and makes them keep their distance and build their walls which eventually leads them to grow apart, slowly.
By understanding cause and effect, one can choose and learn how to react in certain situations and conditions. Remember, what we reap is what we sow.
Rather than complaining and blaming, why don’t learn how to communicate and discuss healthily to find a solution to make things easier and better for both of the parties…?
Even better, learn to be grateful.
Be open without prejudice and judgment.
Often we find in reality that people will judge someone with negative thoughts only based on limited interaction. We judge people around us and miss that what we hear or what we see was only a little small part of them. We are blinded by our assumptions not knowing what made someone do or say what they said. It might be because of different cultures, it might be because of different beliefs, it might be because of different understanding, different perceptions about certain things, certain words, certain behavior, etcetera.
Without knowing the full circle, we can guess but not judge so, we need to learn how to let go of judgment and believe that everyone is the same in the context of every one of us is still learning how to be a better version of our self based on what we beliefs.
Without judgment, without prejudice, we learn and try to understand. No expectation either because when one expects something, it will only lead to disappointment. Expectations always lead to disappointment. Don’t maintain a habit of expectation instead, better believe ‘things will happen when all the situations and conditions were aligned.’
Without expectation, no disappointment.
Without disappointment, no hurt feelings.
As long as we are still alive as human beings, we have feelings. And these feelings will arise and subside depending on the situation and condition. Be brave to face our feelings. Don’t be afraid of our feelings getting hurt. It’s going to be tough but believe if one took the right manner, it’s going to be a great lesson that could shape them to grow up with stronger personalities and let them stand firmer when faced with another challenge along the way.
Forget about competition and comparing each other, it’s about how to build a better and meaningful life’s for the connected party, for each of us. With openness and trust, we create a connection that brings a bond of closeness.
