About Me — Maessy Chan
Born in Aug 1987. The youngest of nine. This pen name came up when I was in my senior high school after one of the teachers keep making fun of my real name because… my real name just sounded alien to the majority!
Maessy, some said it reminds them about this ‘messy’ world while some suggest it sounds like ‘may see’ which is not bad, I guess. From ‘messy’ to ‘may see’. Indeed, I am seeking the ‘truth’ of this journey so hopefully, I’ll get out of this messy world, and find/see the truth someday.
Anyway, my journey start when I was five years old, after watching my grandfather’s pale corpse from a close distance to be exact.
‘‘What’s the meaning of this life if everyone is going to die at the end, bringing nothing with them?’’
The first question that I carried on my whole life, led me to shave my hair and become a Buddhist nun once for almost six months in Sri Lanka back in 2014. Training my mind every single day but eventually came back again in the rat race. Money is needed for surviving after all. The first day I become a nun and leave everything behind, it was so liberating. But it eventually becomes another suffering after a couple of months of training because I was obsessed with quality improvement of my mind which the more I want it, the more I couldn’t achieve.
I forgot the essence of Buddhism teaching was not for ‘achieving’ or ‘grabbing’ something but ‘letting go’.
Though I love to be living my life training my mind every day to be aware of my own thoughts and to investigate them in detail, however, money is needed for surviving after all. But… money wasn’t something I can bring when I die and my mom always told me what’s important in this life is being happy and healthy. So, my mind was set that money wasn’t that important as long as I have shelter and three meals a day. I live in my comfort zone at the moment and as a result, I’m living okay, without much saving but enough for surviving and having fun once a while when needed as long as I’m still working.
This is a little bit ironic to be honest because… I forgot to plan for my old day when I couldn’t work anymore and there's no one there for me then, what do I do…?
My interest changes from time to time. I used to enjoy Chinese mandarin drama, movies and their entertainment in my childhood, daily. And thanks to that, I can speak Chinese mandarin fluently. I switch to Korean later on, and then Japanese for some time, but I couldn’t learn their language since I don’t really put my focus on that. I understand a tiny bit of Japanese though. Currently, I’m learning English language so I switch to something related to English language. Haven’t learned about investment which I know I should.
I have lost some money but I’m still watching you, BTC… Although I know that I have no luck with lottery or gambling sadly (crying in my heart).
I’ll work on saving up some money so I can afford a caregiver or pay for the nursing house when I am too old and can not do things on my own anymore. Though I also wish to have my own land and grow my own food (flowers, too!) and live my daily life having a daily walk with a lovely horse! How I wish!!!
Well…, hope I can live healthily till my last breath without needing someone’s help if possible. I can dream, can’t I? the meaning of my real name is ‘dream’ after all! Wish me luck with the journey and thank you for reading till the end! Nice to meet you! 😀🤝🍻
